Big Bang

ATTENTION: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Well...today I found out why you don't microwave eggs.

I was hard-boiling an egg for my salad at home, and when I peeled it, I realized it wasn't quite done. So I thought "Oh, I'll just microwave it." like it was just a normal thing do. Well, it wasn't.

I seriously microwaved it for 15 seconds. Just a hard-boiled egg without the shell. Well, praise the Lord it didn't have the shell on it.

I got it out of the microwave and everything seemed normal. The moment I touched it with a fork, it EXPLODED. It sounded like a gun went off. 3 hours later and my ears are still ringing. That wasn't the worst of it.

It exploded in my face. In my eyes. I fell to the floor covering my eyes and in my most dramatic moment thought, "I'M BLIND!!!" I quickly realized I was not blind but needed an eye wash like the days in the chemistry lab.

I ran to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and saw the craziest sight...tiny pieces of egg particle all over my face, hair, shirt, and contacts. There was literally egg in my eyes. My contacts had it stuck to them. It looked like tiny bits of styrofoam had blown all over me. Splashing water in my eyes brought a little relief, but I knew I had been burned by it. This is what my kitchen looked like...all the white and yellow specks are egg particles.

It startled Chaco so much, he abandoned his toy in the hall and ran for it.

See the bunny above. Also, the specks past the door frame are egg particles.

The egg covered an area of 12 feet by 12 feet. But I had more egg covering me than any of the photos above. It was INSANE. I didn't get a photo of my face in the moment, because well, I was completely traumatized.

So my mom happened to me in my neighborhood with my Grammy and Alton, the bookkeeper at the garden center. She called me to say they had passed my house, and I told her what had just happened about 2 minutes before. They turned around and came to my house.

A ton of laughter from them and me ensued. Then we realized I probably needed to go to the doctor because my eyeball was stinging and so was my face.

My mom took me to the eye doctor. He said had I not been wearing my contacts, I would have suffered some damage to my cornea! He put dye in my eye and said he could see a perfect circle where my contact was and the area outside of it had little burns all over the eyeball! But my contact protected all the most important parts of my eye.

Here's a photo of my eye below...

The whites of my eye are finally white again, they were completely red for 2 hours. So that was my dramatic event. I know, really dramatic. But hilarious. And unbelievable.

The moral of the story...DON'T MICROWAVE EGGS. EVER.